What Is Red Car Theory? And How It May Secretly Be Holding You Back
How many red cars did you see yesterday? Probably none (that you can remember).
But if I asked you to walk outside or go for a drive right now, you’d suddenly start noticing red cars everywhere.
It’s not that there are more of them — it’s that now you’re looking.
That’s Red Car Theory.
The proper term is The Baader-Meinhof Phenomenon, also known as the frequency illusion or confirmation bias. It’s a psychological tendency where our brain filters and pays attention to information that supports what we already believe to be true.
And while red cars are harmless, the same brain function can quietly sabotage our confidence, decisions, relationships, and potential.
Let’s look at how it works — and how to break the cycle.
Meet Sam.
Sam isn’t good at speaking up. One day, she walks into an important meeting, can’t think of anything to contribute, and walks out disappointed…
“See? I never know what to say.”
But the reason she’s “not good at speaking up” is because that’s what she tells herself. That self-talk shaped her belief, her belief shaped her action, and her action reinforced the self-talk.
This is the confirmation bias loop. Her brain:
Filters out moments where people did want her opinion.
Dismisses times when she did speak up and add value.
Zeroes in only on past experiences that “prove” she’s not good at it.
Thought → Belief → Action → Evidence → Reinforced Thought.
This happens to all of us.
Red Car Theory in the Real World
Whatever you tell your brain is true — it will look for evidence to support it.
The brain is efficient, not accurate. Its job is to keep you safe, not correct. It operates on assumptions — your assumptions.
So:
If you believe you’re bad at relationships, you’ll subconsciously prove that belief true.
If you think you’re not cut out for success, your brain will show you why.
If you tell yourself you’re not creative, you’ll never notice the small, creative things you do every day.
It’s like setting your internal GPS to “this is who I am” — and then wondering why you keep ending up in the same place.
Examples of Confirmation Bias in Everyday Life
You might not walk around thinking about your cognitive biases every day — but they shape more of your behaviour than you think. Especially confirmation bias. It’s subtle, but powerful. It’s the mechanism behind why so many of us repeat patterns, even when we know they don’t serve us.
Here’s how it shows up in real life — in the things we think, the choices we make, and the patterns we fall into.
🧠 Negative Self-Talk After a Mistake
“I knew I’d mess that up.” If that’s what you tell yourself after making a mistake, you’ll start to expect it. Even if 90% of what you did went well, your brain will highlight the parts that didn’t — because it confirms what you already believe.
💔 Attracting the Same Kind of Partner
Ever thought, “Why do I keep attracting partners who are emotionally unavailable?” If deep down you believe that’s all you deserve, your brain will keep finding them. It’ll ignore the green flags, spotlight the red ones, and say, “See? It’s always like this.”
🚫 Avoiding Big Goals
If you believe something is “too hard” or “not for people like me,” your brain will gather evidence to back that up. You’ll see others doing it and assume they had some advantage you didn’t.
🪑 Playing Small on Purpose
If you believe you’re not leadership material, you stop putting yourself forward. Then, because no one gives you the opportunity, you use that as proof you’re not cut out for it.
⏳ Why Do I Always Sabotage Myself?
If you believe, deep down, that you’re the kind of person who messes up or isn’t good at something, you’ll start to act in ways that reflect that belief — hesitating, avoiding, underpreparing. Then when the result falls short, your brain says, “See? That’s what always happens.”
♻ Why Can’t I Break Old Habits?
You’ve tried to change. Maybe more than once. But no matter how badly you want it, you slip back into old patterns. Why? Because deep down, you might still believe “I always give up” or “this won’t work for me.” And your brain is loyal to that identity.
📉 I’m Not Confident Enough to Start a Business or Apply for That Job
If you believe you’re not good enough or ready, your brain is already working hard to prove it.
You won’t apply. You won’t start. Not because you’re not ready — but because you’re waiting for the evidence to change before you’re willing to act.
⛔ Why Do I Procrastinate So Much?
It’s not laziness. It’s fear wrapped in self-doubt. You think, “This is going to be too hard” or “I’m not good at this,” and your brain goes: “Got it. Let’s avoid it.”
🎭 Why Do I Never Feel Good Enough?
Even when people praise you, it doesn’t stick. Because if your core belief is “I’m not good enough,” your brain tosses the praise and keeps the criticism.
⚖ Why Can’t I Lose Weight?
Maybe you’ve told yourself “I can’t stick to anything.” So even when you make progress, you zero in on slip-ups. Your brain says, “Yep, this is who we are.”
🚪 I Never Get Opportunities Like Other People
You believe good things don’t happen to you. So even when you get a chance, you interpret it through that lens — hold back, downplay yourself, or decline it altogether. Then when it disappears, it becomes more proof that “nothing ever works out.”
🎭 Why Do I Feel Like an Imposter?
You succeed — but still feel like a fraud. Because deep down, you’re telling yourself you’re not as good as people think. Your brain ignores the praise and clings to the doubts.
So, Why Do We Do This to Ourselves?
Short answer: the brain wants certainty.
Even if our beliefs are painful — “I’m not lovable” or “I’m not good enough” — the brain prefers familiar discomfort over the risk of something new.
It filters our reality through those beliefs.
It doesn’t question them. It defends them.
And every time you tell yourself the same story, the brain gets more efficient at noticing and storing evidence that fits.
How Do You Break This Loop?
You don’t need to fight your brain — just give it new instructions.
1. Catch and question your thoughts.
Ask yourself:
What else might be true?
What’s a piece of evidence that doesn’t support this belief?
What do I believe about myself that might be shaping what I notice?
What am I not seeing because I’ve decided it “doesn’t count”?
If I believed the opposite, what would I start noticing?
2. Intentionally look for ‘red cars’ you want to see.
Flip the script.
Keep a “proof of growth” journal.
Track compliments, small wins, new behaviours, moments of courage.
You’re building a new data set for your brain to reference.
It’ll feel awkward at first — that’s normal. Keep going.
3. Don’t expect instant change.
You’ve had years (maybe decades) of reinforcing old beliefs.
Shifting them takes time.
But the moment you start collecting different evidence, you change the game.
Final Thoughts
Confirmation bias isn’t just a scientific concept — it’s something we live with every day. It explains why you repeat patterns, avoid goals, and stay stuck — even when you know better.
But now you do know better. And that’s the first crack in the loop.
Your thoughts create filters. Those filters shape your perception. Your perception fuels your actions. Your actions reinforce your thoughts.
Break the pattern at the start — with your self-talk — and the rest begins to shift.
If this resonated with you and you want to break the mental loops that are keeping you stuck, book a free strategy session with me to help you get clear, unstuck, and moving forward.
No salesy pitches, just insight.
I was struggling with confidence and negativity. In just one strategy session Omar helped me design the action plan that helped me start my mortgage breaking business!
— Clare Y